I’m in the library (I’m a university student), and naturally since I’ve moved here I have found myself in the same position as I usually do lately. I’m sitting across from another person…well, more like I’m on one table, and he’s on another, but still the same principle. Now, for every person who has ever been two weeks into a new place you know the struggle to make friends. Just one friend. Literally. Just one.
It’s something that I’ve been struggling with since I got to this area, and it is unnecessarily difficult to do so. I keep wondering if its me (it probably is), or if I’m just destined to be a loner (please no). I have a hard time approaching people in general, and its a wonder that I even got through high school with the two people I did spend all my free time with. I’m an introvert by nature, but that doesn’t mean that I want to be alone all the time, as many of you other introverts know. I have spent the past 8 months in my home, in my room to be exact, recharging after a rough year of study. Don’t even judge me, I was exhausted back then. Based off of that reality, I’m starting to think that I lost all of my ability to introduce myself to anyone at all. It took me one week before I could voice my presence in my seminar groups, only because we are graded for participation and a girl is not about to lose 10% of her grade in three subjects because she won’t open her mouth. Shy or not, I’m not throwing away any credit.
Back to my present situation, I’m sitting alone at this table typing away for this post and stealing quick glances at the boy sitting very near to me, but yet seemingly very far away in some other world. I just want to say hello- I just want some human interaction- yet, here I still sit typing away on my laptop about how I need human interaction. It is me.
I don’t even have a book to read, and that would’ve at least kept me engaged in a reality that wasn’t one where I just gazed at another person who could potentially be my first acquaintance and, ultimately, my first friend here.
In the time that I took to type this out, he moved to another table closer to a charging port. And that ladies and gentleman, is another repeatedly missed opportunity.